Your New Year's Sex Resolutions Revealed

January can feel like a pleasure-free month. If you're not giving up alcohol, you're giving up Dairylea Dunkers - and if you're single, the new-year-new-girlfriend dating app lotharios are even more aggravating than usual. We suggest focusing on new year's resolutions with a sexy twist. Yes, instead of wasting that new Papier planner on self-flagellating fitness kicks, welcome 2023 with a renewed enthusiasm for your sexual wellness.

OUT WITH:

• Novelty flavoured sexual wellness essentials

Our vaginas are not fairground attractions, though they’ve seen a fair share of clowns… 🤡  This year, say no to condoms with unnecessary flavours or scents, which can irritate your delicate vaginal tissue and even cause UTIs. As our Co-Founder Farah always says, “if you can name every ingredient in your skincare routine, you should be able to do the same for your condoms.” Just last year, we updated our condom ingredients based on your feedback so they’re even more sensitive. We removed any added fragrance and improved sizing for a better fit and secured FDA approval for extra peace of mind. Now, they’re made from just natural latex, Silicone Oil, Magnesium, Kaeflo/ Absorbo, and Silicone LE. Find out more here.

• Shaming people for using lube

We always see the most judgemental comments on adverts for our natural lubricant. The lowest common denominator ‘joke’ seems to be that lube is just for ‘elderly’ women, and there are plenty of misinformed comments that vaginal dryness isn’t a problem if your partner ‘knows what they’re doing down there’. If there’s one thing you learn about vaginas this year, let it be this: not getting wet doesn’t mean you’re not turned on, or that you’re past your sexual prime. Your state of arousal doesn’t always match the level of natural lubrication you’re producing. Medically speaking, when you’re aroused, the Bartholin’s glands and the Skene’s glands release a fluid which keeps things moving during sex or masturbation.

Sometimes low libido, stress, medication or hormonal changes can impact how ‘wet’ you get - but that’s not necessarily something to worry about. If you’re in the mood, try using a pump or two of natural, non-flavoured lubricant as this can reduce discomfort or dryness and enhance pleasure. As for if you’re wetter than an otter’s pocket? Hey, a little extra lube on hand is always useful for oral sex or an even smoother ride. 2023 is set to be one juicy year…

IN WITH: 

• Paying for your porn

According to YouGov, 53% of women in the UK have watched porn and 76% of men (slim gender categories = study’s own). A less sexy element is the likelihood that the majority of those blue movies weren’t ethically sound. There are lots of misconceptions around paying for pornography or erotica - for instance, some people mistakenly believe it’s a sign of a sex addiction. However, stumping up cash to support creators behind your favourite kinky content actually ensures ethical production. What do we *actually* mean by that? Well, for a creator, that might mean subscribing to their content, though OnlyFans’ ethical status is hotly debated, so do your research. For an indie production company, it could include securing explicit consent for each aspect of the film, and safeguarding performers’ emotional and intimate health with talent managers and STI tests (we spoke to performer Gia Green about her experiences on-set here). In conclusion: respect sex workers and digital creators by putting your money where your mouse is.

• Being upfront with your partner about your sexual health status.

So, how do you feel about asking your latest app match: “when was your last STI test?” It’s time to shake off your shyness as it turns out 71% of us want less stigma, and dates to be more upfront about their sexual health status. The best way to go about it is to avoid confusing metaphors, acknowledge it might be a little awkward (they probably feel like blushing, too) and keep a non-judgemental mindset if they do share that they’ve had and treated STIs in the past. If diving right into the conversation feels too tricky, you could try using a platform like iPlaySafe, which allows you to share your verified health status with likeminded others - or even DM a cheeky post from HANX as a way of breaking the ice. Remember, in the UK, you can order discreet postal STI tests from SH:24, whilst Planned Parenthood offers free or low-cost testing based on your income in the US.

• Embracing your sexuality

If the date-challenged years of COVID have had you re-assessing your sexuality, now is the time to embrace all aspects of your identity. The rise in gender-inclusive and female-focused play nights is particularly exciting, and might just be the warm, leather or lace-clad welcome you didn’t know you’d been needing. For our American friends, Mommy Issues is a notoriously thirsty night in Los Angeles, featuring a spanking booth, dommes and subs and DJs.
Meanwhile, One Night Parties in London, UK offers a space for women and non-binary folk to make friends and explore their femininity. As a kink space, they encourage dressing in lacy lingerie/latex/leather/nothing at all - but we love that they stress that sexual energy comes from empowerment and confidence, rather than the way you look. You’re truly welcome at this party…

Want more?

• Stock up on natural, vegan, gynae-designed condoms and lube here.

• Find out how ethical porn can be part of your wellness routine.