How To Introduce Toys In The Bedroom

There’s been a long-held association between sex toys and masturbation, and whilst they can be great for enhancing solo pleasure, they can be game-changers in partnered sex too. Whether it's your new vibrator (hello, Cindy) or experimenting with restraints, there are so many ways you can incorporate sex toys into your life. 

So, if you’re looking to shake things up a bit or try something new, we’ve prepared a guide on the steps you can take to add variety into your sex life.

Communicate with your partner

If you’re looking to introduce a toy into your sex life, discuss it with your partner(s) first. Some might feel unsure about the idea of an extra pair of electronic hands in the mix. Reassure them that it's not to replace them, but to enhance your mutual pleasure - however, be sure to listen to their concerns and not dismiss them.  Don't introduce something mid-session without asking first, and don't feel like you need to do everything at once - you can always start with one small toy and build up to more complex or adventurous elements over time.

Try approaching the subject before the fun begins, in a more relaxed setting - this might take some of the pressure off!

Choose a toy

Spend some time looking for toys together, so you can both feel like you're a part of this new adventure. Be specific about what you’re looking for and what you want to get out of it. There are hundreds of toys out there specially designed for partnered pleasure, so there’ll definitely be something for you. Picking a toy out and fantasising about how you can use it together should be part of the fun, and the more your partner feels involved in and has control over the process, the more excited they might be. 

Don’t be afraid to move away from penetration

There are so many ways you can have sex. If you don’t enjoy penetration, or experience vaginismus or endometriosis which might make it difficult, mutual masturbation is a fun and sexy way to connect with your partner. Buy a toy and see if they would like to watch, or give them a gift they’ll never forget and enjoy seeing them explore their own pleasure. 

Practice makes perfect 

If you’ve tried something new and it didn’t go exactly as planned, have a debrief with your partner and figure out what you can do to make the experience more enjoyable. Trying new things, such as rope or impact play, can take some practice before you properly get comfortable with it. Don’t let one slightly disappointing experience put you off completely!

As long as you and your partner are enjoying exploring each other’s pleasure, be patient and it will come more naturally over time. There are so many different types of toys out there, so you’ll find something you and your partner love. Equally, you might find toys aren't for you - and that's okay too.

 Want more?

• Discover our guide on how to use a clitoral suction toy, just like our Cindy.
• Explore how to manage dating with conditions that make penetration painful, such as vaginismus.
• All this and more in our Naked Truths blog.