As Featured On BBC Woman's Hour! 📻

Having sex and orgasms helps you sleep better

Can Sex Help You Sleep Better?

Insomnia is a real bitch, especially when you’re going through the vicious cycle of trying to nod off whilst laying there wide awake, getting more and more frustrated. In fact, sometimes, the harder you try to get to sleep, the more restless you become. Alternatively, you might find you drop off easily but have issues staying asleep consistently throughout the night. Yes, we're speaking from bloodshot eyed experience, so join us as we explore how sex might be the solution to sleepless nights.

How Much Sleep Should I Be Getting?

Doctors recommend eight hours shut-eye a night to ensure maximum rest and energy the following day. However, here in the UK, women typically get just six hours and forty minutes - and boy, are we feeling it...

Getting the brain to switch off after a long day can be tricky. Relaxing is easier said than done especially if your mind is running 100 miles an hour with all the things you’ve got to do the next day: be it running your own business, hitting deadlines at work, managing childcare and life admin or fretting about relationship, money or health issues. In fact, changing hormonal levels during menopause increases symptoms including insomnia, which can be exacerbated by hot flushes and night sweats. Similarly, pregnancy can also induce sleeplessness, even if you've never experienced it before, due to physical discomfort and anxiety/excitement about a new baby.

In order to tackle insomnia, it's important to make the effect to override the chaos going on in your mind. Some might turn to meditation, but we like to take the fun route: having sex and/or masturbating...

How Does Sex Help You Relax?

Sex does wonders to quieten the mind and relax the body. Ever had a partner roll lover and pass out straight out after they’ve orgasmed? It can be a massive compliment or a little abrupt, but can be down to the hormones released during sex:

  1. Oxytocin, the hormone which makes you feel close to your partner.
  2. Prolactin, the hormone released by orgasm. 
  3. Cortisol, your stress hormone is actually reduced during sex.

The combination of increased oxytocin and prolactin with decreased cortisol levels induces a relaxed state that leads to drowsiness and eventually slumber. For us gals, sex also boosts our oestrogen levels, heightening our REM stage making our sleep deeper and our recuperation stronger. 

Masturbation Does The Trick, Too

Similarly to having partnered sex, masturbating can be an ace up your sleeve when it comes to getting those zzzs in. Our top tips for getting handsy:

  • Remember, orgasm isn't the ultimate goal. The less pressure you put on yourself, the better. This is all about relaxation.
  • Languorously stroke lube onto your genitals, sex toys or skin, as it both removes friction and heightens arousal.
  • Focus on exploring tactile sensations all over your body, from gentle caresses to gasp-inducing pinching (in a good way!).
  • Fantasy can be a powerful tool for escapism, especially when getting yourself off. Try ethical porn platform CHEEX or award-winning director Erika Lust's consent-focused films.

What Else Can I Do 

As with most lifestyle changes, consistency is key. We (don't) hate to break it to you, but making sex or masturbation a regular part of your pre-bedtime routine can make a big difference to insomnia. Alongside this, create and try to stick to a sleep schedule, which could include:

    • Cutting out caffeine from your diet (that includes chocolate, coffee, colas) or avoiding from midday onwards to minimise sleep disruption.
    • Making sure you're exercising to tire out both the body and mind - though it's best to avoid overexerting yourself right before bed.
    • Ditching your devices from the bedroom. Blue light emitted by your phone/tablet or laptop essentially tricks your body into thinking it's daylight, stopping it releasing the essential sleep hormone, melatonin.
    • Cut back on spicy or rich foods which can cause heartburn at night.


Want more?

  • Find your desire for sex dipping? Learn how to fire up that libido.
  • Hot tips on beating insomnia? Share with us on our free, anonymous safe space, HANX Life.

Slide into our DMs @hanxofficial

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