Why Are We So Horny For The Bad Guy?

“I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.” 

We hear you, Rihanna but what *is* it about those odious villains, bad boys of the silver screen and too cool grrrl ghouls that get us feeling all hot under our vampire cape? And why do we wanna be more than just friends with those characters specifically designed to give us the, err- willies? 

Was your thirst for the undead first piqued by True Blood? Proud founding member of the Edward Cullen Fan Club? Down for a lil’ From Dawn Til’ Dusk D? You’re not alone: many of us eschew the sugar-coated charms of conventional pin-ups in favour of the darkly delicious charms of femme fatales such as Elvira, Morticia, and even reimagined Disney villains. Is the lure of the ‘bad boy’ or ‘wicked witch’ because they possess the charisma heroes usually lack? Yes, in a world where ghosting tends to be perpetrated by hotties in Salomons, a Aimé Leon Dore cap and a stick and poke tattoo of a Perello olives tin, it's all too easy to turn to fantasy villains. It's easy to imagine that wily demon who pairs seamless confidence with a perfect pop of peroxide hair definitely wouldn’t match with you on a dating app and un-match an hour later. They've probably never even heard of an iPhone. (If you’re reading this, Spike, beep us).

Why do I fancy fictional villains?

Taboo: it’s a key factor here. We’re traditionally pushed towards the hero with a strong jaw and noble selfless aura, as opposed to the character who is more complex, multi-faceted and let’s face it, most likely to be ‘the evil one’. Their depth of personality, especially in comparison to blandly palatable all-round good guys and golden gals is why some of us are naturally, unequivocally drawn to the anti-hero. Speaking of anti-heroes, you’ve been slippin' into our DMs to extoll the virtues of characters including:

• Deadpool
• Jafar from Aladdin
• Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series
• Villanelle from Killing Eve
• Hades from Disney's Hercules
• Omar from The Wire
• Negan from The Walking Dead
• Regina George from Mean Girls
• Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter
• Yungblud (it’s the nail varnish, right?)
• TikTok-famous fright night actors including FryBoy

There's a certain aspect of comfort here, too. These aren't real villains in our real streets, in our real towns. Most of the hotties called out inhabit fantasy worlds, where our less-socially-acceptable desires can run free without crossing the line into real danger. Consider it a form of imaginary S&M.
 

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How To Get With A Ghoul On Halloween

Fright Night festivities are the perfect time to indulge this fantasy. If you’ve not pulled in a scarily synthetic Smiffy’s wig or got your rocks off in a Leg Avenue bodystocking with *that* smouldering Michael Myers character in the corner; you know someone who has acted upon these fantasies without blame, e.g. ‘me and the wolf man? I wasn’t myself, it was the witches brew, your honour...’ 

 
So, this Halloween, get your freak on and indulge in *ahem* a monster mash or two. Craft an intricate DIY costume in honour of your fave non-binary baddie. Sext that fiend you fancy. Big on fan fiction? Light up a bouji candle and elaborate on Edward Cullen’s rippling glittering pecs all night long. Whatever you do, make sure you don't go home with nightmares - wear a condom, babe. 


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