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How To Have Sex At Home This Christmas

How To Have Sex At Home This Christmas

However you’re spending the festive break, trying to get some quality ‘alone time’ in when your family, friends or flatmates are very present can be more of a headache than a round of Game of Thrones Monopoly. So, we took to IG to ask YOUR top tips for keeping it under wraps and believe us, you did not disappoint. Ready? 


Christmas, it’s all about the giving. And receiving. 🎁

“Say you’re wrapping presents and can’t be disturbed!”

“Wrapping! Lock yourself in the spare room and have it. Xmas tunes optional!”


We like the way you move. 〰️

“On the floor, say no more.”

“Do it in the shower when you’re both ‘getting ready for lunch’.”

“Spooning is my go-to move.”

“Do it at like 1AM when everyone else is asleep! The thrill of having to be quiet it <insert tongue emoji x 50>."

“My teenage bedroom hasn’t changed in 15+ years so spooning on my ancient water bed it is. Takes some getting used to but we’re all good now.”

“We watch A LOT of ‘late night movies.’”

“He has to sleep on the floor (I’m 30, btw!) so a lot of midnight s-expeditions before dawn. I have to kick him out my bed before my family wake up, they’re really traditional and it’s a pain!”

“Make sure he comes late enough for everyone to be asleep and sneak him in!”


Alfresco, you say? 🌳

“In the garden, behind the shed!”

“Don’t judge… we’re paranoid so we did it in my car outside one night. SO COLD!”


Going it alone? We’ve got you. 😉

“Paper thin walls and siblings either side means I take my vibe to the shower and play Beyonce Homecoming really loudly.”

“Phone sex! If you’re disturbed, just shout ‘I'M ON THE PHONE!!!’ and most parents probably will back off, right?”

“I go minimal with just my hand, a wing and a prayer, haha! Easier!”


No drama. ✋

“We’re very open in my house so a big ‘do not disturb’ sign I stole from a hotel works just fine.”

"We snuck inside the porch and had really noisy sex when we thought everyone was busy watching tv. Later, her mum mentioned hearing noises and my girlfriend at the time just shrugged it off as carol singers. I can't believe we got away with it!"


Aaaaaaand a reminder to always, always lock your door. 🔒

“Lock your door, people! Learn from my mistakes. 3 years on and I’m still really awkward round my brother’s wife.”

“I’ve been caught at it by my aunt and never recovered, haha!”

Good luck, deck the halls and bring those good tidings: have a banging Christmas break and we’ll be back in 2021. Missing us, already? Join the conversation over on our HANX Life forum here.

Team HANX x

Slide into our DMs @hanxofficial

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