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We have all been there, the Christmas lights have come on, it’s cold outside and, erm, your fourth childhood friend just got engaged.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more I want at times than a bottle of red, my Papa John's special and re-runs of Gossip Girl (yes, I’m 32) but when things get festive, there is always a side of me wishing I had a little Christmas hanky panky on the go.
But, let's not be fooled by the allure of having an other half this festive season. Here’s why I won’t be on the look out for a Christmas boyfriend this year...
- He stays into the New Year. Xmas gives you the rose tinted glasses and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. That being said, once the period ends, you’re stuck with a man you might not necessarily want. One who was great at sofa cuddles and got funnier the more the wine flowed but come new year... That man is still there into 2018. Through cold turkey January. Nah – ah.
- It’s not always what it seems. Feelings are heightened around this time of the year. Your friends are getting proposals like they are going out of fashion, posting their first baby bump pics and I’m just here like… get me a puppy. It’s hard not to feel like you want someone by your side but at the same time, how much fun is it being care-free single and without any boundaries?! Posts on Insta look amazing on the front, but you don’t know that Tim and Kate bicker like no tomorrow about who’s turn it is to wash up.
- Be the single one at any Christmas party. Make the most of the fact that you can actually go and party and have fun without having to come back to a man who might not be able to deal with your wild ways. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- To avoid any boyfriend xmas gifts. So even though you may have been seeing each other from the first day of Christmas, there is still that awkward “do I get him a present”. And do you go for the socks or the weird dad-esq mug? Or nothing… only to find he got you a gift. Then that awkward scramble to get him one back. I avoid awkward situations like the plague so count me out for this one.
- Don’t settle for second best because it’s Christmas. I’ll admit I have been partial to dabbling in the cuffing season one year. It consisted of a rendezvous with a previous date who kissed like his tongue was a chopper. At the time I thought it was bearable (three very large glasses of merlot down) yet come the morning I had utter regret. That and the lingering messages of how we should continue this. Morale of the story? A boyfriend isn’t just for Christmas… and if you are not planning on bringing that baggage into the new year then avoid those rendezvous’ at all costs.
I totally advocate hanky panky but only when you want it and you know what might come (or not) with it.