The “orgasm gap” gap refers to the disparity between men and women experiencing orgasms. You may well have read our recent piece on this, and today we are sharing our tips on how to overcome it.
The gap has come about as a result of sociocultural and evolutionary factors, so let’s delve into why exactly it exists and how to combat it...
HANX Top Tips
- Don’t fake it: Communicate with your partner, as we can’t expect them to know what we like if we are continually faking orgasms and reinforcing this behaviour. Telling your partner what you like and don’t like is important. You need to talk to your partner about what’s working for you, they are not mind-readers!
- Start talking about women's pleasures loudly and proudly: We need to talk about female orgasms and pleasure candidly, openly and honestly. The more we talk about female pleasure, the less we rely on pornography and pop culture to educate. Through speaking openly in a sex-positive way, we can help improve sexual wellness and satisfaction.
- Break the habit: It's easy to get into a routine of the same positions, styles and time spent however these habits can mean you are stuck in a rut mentally and physically. Change things up a little, if you are single, that can be as simple as setting the intention of self pleasure one evening - booking in time for yourself. Or if you are in a relationship, be daring, mix up the routine and try out different places! Don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Sex doesn't have to stop when your partner comes. Ask your partner to hold off which whilst it requires patience and control, can result in mind blowing mutual orgasms. Alternatively, your partner could help you achieve your own pleasure by using toys.
- Know your body and the female anatomy: Unique to everyone, we should educate where the clitoris is etc. It’s also about self-pleasure and getting to know your body and what feels good. No partner? No problem. Have a play with vibrators and sex toys to help with your pleasure experience to discover what works for you. And if you are feeling shy or don’t know where to start, there are some great online shops offering discreet delivery like HANX.
- Our doctors and specialists need to ask patients about whether they are experiencing pleasure: Often overlooked, but it’s part of overall sexual wellbeing. It's important that sexual health is seen as just as important as other aspects of wellbeing. After all, sexual pleasure and satisfaction greatly impacts our physical and mental wellbeing. Not only do they release hormones that promote affection and act as a natural anti-depressant, they increase blood flow to the skin and, strengthen the immune system and are good for our cardiovascular health. Here at HANX we want everyone to experience these health-boosting orgasms!
- Remember to breathe: Don’t rush it and remember to breathe. Women’s bodies generally take longer to warm up than mens, and women often don’t fully relax, and hold their breath, meaning oxygen and blood doesn’t flow like it needs to for positive orgasmic experiences!
- Use condoms! Lots of couples use condoms to encourage the man to last longer...sometimes all it takes is a little more time for women. It’s what works for you, and everyone is different, so try things out and talk to your partner about what works and what doesn’t.
- Use Mindfulness: Take it back to basics and really try to relax your mind and body. Desire is as much a psychological as a physical thing- it actually begins in your brain before shimmying on down to your bits and bobs. The principle of mindfulness is presentness: being aware and fully immersed in the present moment. Instead of focusing on your sexual performance or an end goal, direct your attention to the sensations both inside and outside your body. How does your partner’s body feel against yours? Can you feel their hot breath on your skin? This means focusing on the moment, and avoid being distracted by non-sexual thoughts. Mindful sex!